


estrus

by Ascent_96



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, M/M, Omegaverse, high school setting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-18 11:09:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21560209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ascent_96/pseuds/Ascent_96
Summary: seungyoun is an alpha and he has always thought that wooseok is an alpha too. except that he doesn't know that wooseok is hiding the truth that he is an omega and its only a matter of time until he is discovered.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is something i write out of a whim because im interested to experiment high school seungseok in an omegaverse au lol. the facts i used for this omegaverse au will also be my own fictional ideas. so please do not take this story too seriously and read it with a light heart since that's the mood i am going to be in as well while writing this. hope you enjoy reading ^^

i had always been in love with kim wooseok.

if you asked me since when, i couldn’t remember it myself. somehow amidst the years of spending time together, the feeling had naturally gradually developed by itself. if i had to point one event that made me realize it, it would be during his twelfth birthday where i had stayed overnight at his place, sleeping together in his bed that night, when there was only darkness between us and when i thought he was already asleep. when i opened my eyes then, there i saw the glimmer in his eyes that regarded me, unfaltering and beautiful. it was like a moment’s charm that tempted me into speechlessness.

the eyes that stared at me in that darkness was burnt into my memory, carved into the deep walls of my mind in secrecy, kept hidden from anyone especially him because i never wanted him to know of my sinful feelings for him.

im an alpha. but somehow im attracted to wooseok, who also told me he is an alpha. the day when i heard him telling me he was an alpha too, my heart had literally broke. because i had always wanted him to be my lifemate more than anything, therefore there was always that small hope within me that wished he will be an omega. but to have that cruel reality slapped to my face left my hope crashing to the ground.

even then, i couldn’t stop loving him. i couldn’t stop loving the alpha kim wooseok.

my eyelids flickered open. there was sweat beading on my forehead, a trail dripping down to my chin. i was sweating hard. getting up from the bed, i ran a frustrated hand through my messy hair at the realization.

i was in my heat.

yes, like omega, heat can happen to alpha too. the heat, either triggered by an omega pheromone or naturally come in regular cycles every once in three months for an alpha. with that knowledge i learned to keep track of my heat cycles. and that was why i knew i was in heat right then. during heat, the symptoms of heat also manifested themselves to make it more obvious such as sweating excessively, increased breathing and heart rate as well as the sensation of heat that accumulated intensely within the body.

all these with another addition specifically for me, was the thought and image of kim wooseok that would swirl in my head as i slipped my hand inside my pants and stroked my already leaking erection.

at nights like these, being in kim wooseok’s presence would be suicidal to me. so i made sure to keep my distance from wooseok when i noted my cycle was about to arrive. although it wouldn’t affect wooseok since technically he was also an alpha himself, and the fact that alpha with alpha won’t influence each other biologically, but to me kim wooseok was dangerous still. all due to the fact that he was the very object of my desire.

it was really cursed how nature worked in a way that alpha have to mate with an omega, but doesn’t control the feelings that can be directed even to a non-omega. and it just happened that i was cursed for having feelings for an alpha, yet nature required me to seek for an omega.

with a growl that was bitten back, i breathed harshly as my hand grew faster stroking, the image of wooseok’s face a constant until a shaky sigh was exhaled when my unsuppressed desire spilled messily into the palm of my hand.

it took me a while to regain my labored breathing. pulling out a tissue from beside me, i wiped off the stain with a somewhat empty feeling. i fell back onto the bed with another heavy sigh before i threw my arm across my closed eyes. wooseok’s face was still clear even behind my eyelids.

i sat up again, quiet for a while as if hesitating, before i lifted the curtains covering the window beside me slightly. across me, i could see a lighted room situated at the same level as mine and i pondered what the person in the room was doing at the moment.

yes, kim wooseok lives just beside my house. and the room i was watching currently was his room.

we had been neighbours since we were five. at that young age, i first learned about friendship in the form of kim wooseok who stood in front of me with cool, quiet eyes and a calm composure. a total opposite from me, who was only smiling and laughing all the time as i made my first conversation with him in a friendly manner. we went to the same kindergarten together, same elementary school together, and now even the same high school together.

now we are 18. but i think kim wooseok never really changed from the first time i laid my eyes on him. still cool, still quiet, still calm like my first impression of him with the added knowledge of many other unexpected sides that i came to discover with our friendship that stood strong throughout the years. it was probably a year after i became friend with wooseok that i started to know that he can be quite loud and talkative himself, only given that he was comfortable with the person because he had always been a person who was always cautious with people’s intention at first. even at such a young age, he was smart and had that keen sense of needing to make sure of people’s intention first before he can securely reveal himself.

meanwhile, there was me, who was a completely free person and mixed with everyone equally regardless of their intention or who they were. we were the total opposites, and people around me kept wondering how i became best friend with him. isn’t kim wooseok too quiet and cold for you? to which i would just laugh, telling them in an easy manner that they don’t know the real kim wooseok. and with that revelation, there was a strange feeling of pride that budded within my chest because of the fact that no one else seemed to know how kim wooseok is really like except for me. it seemed that i should be honoured that wooseok had chosen only to reveal his true self to me because he was only comfortable to me. the thought made me adore him even more.

wooseok was also a possessive person. because he had always had difficulty to open up to someone, so when he chose to open up to me, naturally a feeling of attachment was formed towards me. and at times, when i witnessed the way he latched to me for attention like a cat, i felt as if my chest would burst from happiness.

and so you see, this is why im in love with kim wooseok.

but then, i couldn’t tell him my feelings. it was because he wasn’t an omega, yes, one of it was that. but the most important reason was because we had this long, long history of close friendship between us that had been established on a mutual level. at some point, for me that friendship had transcended into something more, but for wooseok he only saw me as a friend. and i was dead afraid to reveal my honest feelings solely for the reason that i didn’t want him to think that ive betrayed him, or made him feel like he had been lied to, or made him disappointed at me or hated me and all those negative feelings that i never wanted him to feel towards me.

so i had been conflicted ever since i realized my feelings towards him. and i had been having a lot of trouble ever since i reached my puberty and developed my heat cycles. everytime going through each cycle was a torture as i had to suppress my immense desire to consume wooseok inside out. the only way i could alleviate it a little was to take the suppressant. even then, due to the unmet desire of an alpha, i had to bear with the remnant of discomfort that lingered for a few days within my body before it disappeared.

so that night, i popped open my suppressants and started taking it religiously again, a routine that i adopted for a few days each three months until the heat inside me dissipated.

my gaze which was still fixated to the room across suddenly noticed a shadow behind the drawn curtains. the shadow seemed to be fumbling for something, before the room suddenly became succumbed in darkness too like mine. i guessed wooseok was going to sleep.

lying back down on my bed, i felt an immense headache making my head throb and a wave of exhaustion suddenly overtaking my whole body. this was how going through heat cycle was for me - not lacking with side effects and struggling with the energy that was drained from my body rapidly.

i closed my eyes, hoping tomorrow i would be in a better condition.

* * *

i woke up late today. if it wasn’t for my mother knocking on my door, asking me if i was already awake, i probably would still be in my bed sleeping the hours away without any awareness.

“son, hurry up! wooseok is already waiting for you downstairs.”

fuck. i scrambled out of my covers, drew the curtains open and saw that indeed wooseok was already waiting for me in front of my house. as if he knew where to look for me, his eyes readily met with mine as i pasted myself on the window of my room.

“wooseok-ah! yah, give me five minutes!” i shouted from the opened window before hastily detaching myself from it to get myself ready, missing the amused smile that tugged itself on the corner of wooseok’s lips at the typical display of the usual morning where cho seungyoun would always be the one to oversleep and fretting over the fact that he had overshoot his waking up time.

cho seungyoun had always been like that. always the messy disorganized one, late, spontaneous yet extremely adaptable according to the situation. now wooseok was witnessing the process of how seungyoun is adapting to the situation where he has to get ready everything and meet him downstairs within minutes time. without a doubt, the process was a messy one filled with a lot of hectic noises.

approximately five minutes thirty seconds later (yes, wooseok was monitoring his watch the whole time to see if cho seungyoun can achieve a new record...for lack of better thing to do) found seungyoun with a barely tamed bed head still, an undone tie and a toast in his mouth, struggling to fit his feet properly into his two shoes while slipping his bag strap over his shoulder.

do you ever wake up early these days? wooseok asked absent-mindedly, a hand automatically reaching up to do the job of smoothing the messy hair which seungyoun would most probably abandon until the end of the day out of lack of care for this kind of thing. wooseok who was more particular in maintaining an image couldn’t help but to be baffled at times by how seungyoun was so carefree with himself.

as wooseok busied himself taming down a strand of hair sticking out awkwardly from the rest of the black nest, seungyoun’s mouth slackened while watching the other distractedly, the toast he was half-chewing on almost falling off from his mouth. when wooseok raised his brow upon catching the other staring, seungyoun hurriedly shook his head and took matters into his own hand, running his hand through his hair in a poor effort to make it more presentable only to evoke a blanch on wooseok’s features as he noticed how it just became messier if anything.

and that was how the morning of cho seungyoun and kim wooseok usually started. inseparable as they were since childhood, and full of tiny moments of amusement and closeness as they go through their daily routine everyday.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the story will be switching pov a lot. im just writing it in a way that is most comfortable to me, so i hope you can tolerate with it ^^ and please do remember the facts i created on omegas and alphas in this story are purely my own fictional ideas, so i hope you won't worry too much on the facts and just enjoy the story as how it flows. enjoy reading!

wooseok is a really popular person in school.

of course, as a childhood friend of his, i was proud to say to others that i’m close to wooseok. but then, together with it there was also somewhat akin to anxiety as i admitted to the fact that my wooseok is popular.

the popularity was almost staggering. from the moment wooseok stepped into school to the moment he left the school gate, you would be sure to see several heads that turned with his incoming presence. he was like a prince in our school, with the largest fanbase that consisted of both females and males. like i said, i was proud that my childhood friend is popular, because afterall i knew my wooseok was always so attractive in every way and he deserved to be acknowledged by people, but the effect of the popularity sometimes worried me due to the immense attention he was receiving from every ends.

ah... it seriously made my head ache.

when he had to interact with people other than me, he naturally had his cool, killer-heartthrob mode on. i couldn’t even tell anymore if it really was just natural for him to do so or just an act because the way he can just simply utter nonchalant lines but at the same time make it work into charming, melt-worthy words seemed so unfairly ridiculous. where the hell did he even learn that skill in the first place? i was stuck to him all these years and yet i had no idea how he can develop that skill without me knowing. was it because of the number of girls he had to interact with since practically almost every girl that laid eyes on him wanted to talk to him or have his contact number. if so, then maybe it would be understandable how he just naturally radiated this lethal-oppa mode even when he wasn’t even trying.

the worst thing out of it all was that it wasn’t just working to the girls, it was also working to me. i watched idly from my seat behind him as he tilted his head to the side and fixed a sweet smile on his face when the swarm of girls who were crowding around his table gave him chocolates that they had made for valentine’s day.

“thank you, everyone.” the eyes that folded prettily into a smile made not only the girls flush red in embarrassment, but also me and a few other guys who were also watching wooseok.

wooseok is definitely lethal when he is smiling like that.

i sighed, mourning my fate silently in my own corner. with popularity came great attention, and with all that attention that consumed wooseok there seemed to be barely any room for me. girls can be quite scary when they are set on demanding attention. i don’t know how wooseok can go through it everyday with a calmly smiling face all the time, as if used to it. if it was me, i would probably never be able to get used to the suffocating situation that for sure is going to overwhelm me in mere seconds. im just no good with attention, especially when its too excessive. wooseok is just fine with it, seemingly groomed for it in fact, like he was born just to be showered with attention.

i wanted to give wooseok my attention too. but in school that would be a little hard since he seemed to have so many fans. the difficulty of it was like having to book a spot to be a VIP in your favourite idol fansign event.

even then, even if i couldn’t ask him to go and have lunch with me right then despite that time was lunch break time, i was somewhat contented just seeing him smiling as he received gifts endlessly from everyone. he was constantly loved and i was happy in that silly sense of my own because i only wished to see him smiling all the time.

because i was too engrossed taking in the sight of wooseok’s dainty hands collecting gift after gift in his small palm, i didn’t realize that someone had slipped into my personal space. it took a slight hesitant sound from the person to snap me from my trance and turned my attention to my side where the person was standing, looking fidgety.

it was a girl whose face was unfamiliar to me.

“yes?”

i asked in surprise, looking up at the girl who was trying to gain my attention since from earlier. she was holding a pink wrap with a matching red ribbon tied at the end. holding out her hands, she waited for me to accept it.

“…this…this is for you, seungyoun-oppa.” her voice was so small that i could barely hear her. then she proceeded to murmur a happy valentine’s day under her breath while sporting a huge blush across her cheeks. she was looking at everywhere except me as i stared at the gift that rested in her palms.

i thought it was cute. the way she approached me and gave me her handmade chocolates. so to appreciate her effort, i took the gift from her with a smile that spoke volume to the gratitude i felt. “thank you.”

after i said that, a really happy smile spread on her face as the blush on her face deepened. bowing politely, she then hurriedly left the class where her other friends were waiting for her expectantly with wide eyes. i figured they were juniors from the class downstairs, judging from the few familiar faces that i had met throughout the few times i walked in the hallway downstairs.

curiously, i untied the ribbon and undo the cute-looking wrap. the wrap spreaded out to reveal neatly-made heart shaped chocolates that were of medium size. ah~ so its not just my wooseok who gets chocolates on valentine's day. i guess i also have girls who would want to give chocolates to me. getting a heartfelt gift from someone always gives me a warm feeling no matter from who it was. i popped a chocolate into my mouth happily and immediately reveled in the bitter sweet taste that instantly washed over my whole taste bud. wow, these actually taste really good. they were like the taste of my favourite chocolates which can only be bought at this one shop a few hours away from my house. i pondered idly on how she could make it taste almost similar, yet was happy enough to gobble up everything.

before i could take the last piece, a hand beat me to it as the last piece was stolen from me and went into a small mouth. it was the small mouth that belonged to none other than wooseok. his action was so out of the blue that it got me flustered.

the fact that wooseok had been observing seungyoun since the girl started interacting with the latter was missed out. as wooseok chewed the chocolate in his mouth, the expression on his face became one that was of a critique judging its taste. “not bad, but still a bit too sweet.”

i almost wanted to complain at the fact that he was stealing my chocolates when he had almost his whole table occupied with his own chocolates. wasn’t it rude that he was eating my chocolate when he didn’t even touch all the other chocolates that were gifted to him yet? before i can express my dissatisfaction openly however, he had already beaten me to it by answering my question. “just curious how the chocolates cho seungyoun would receive from a girl taste like. i guess the girl did her research. she knew you would like these kind of sweet and bitter chocolates.” the tone in that voice seemed to hold an underlying meaning, it didn’t seem like your normal comment, the want to delve deeper to decipher it was hampered midway as wooseok randomly produced a striking red wrap from under his table, which was in complete contrast to all the other soft-coloured wraps the girls used.

inside the red wrap were simple looking round-shaped chocolates, that if not for the fact that it was held in wooseok’s hands like it was special, i would’ve thought it looked comparatively unappealing to all the other visually-attractive appearance of the other chocolates. he took a piece of the round chocolate between his fingers and offered it in front of my mouth. like an automated response to every of wooseok’s whims, i opened my mouth without any complaint and let the other slip the chocolate onto my tongue.

instantly, a distinct bitterness melted onto my taste bud before it dissolved into a wonderful sweetness. the balance between the bitterness and sweetness was right on spot.

“how is it? it tastes better than the other one, right?”

still not quite comprehending the situation, i only relied on my honesty to help me provide a response, foolishly nodding my head. the moment i did so, a huge smile carved itself on wooseok’s lips, somewhat the feeling was almost similar to the happiness i saw on the girl’s face earlier. wooseok seemed really happy at my answer.

“…of course i would know best.” the words were uttered while he turned back his head to the front, so i couldn’t catch most of it. still feeling puzzled, i was about to question him but wooseok merely pushed the red wrap into my hand with finality in his words as he told me to finish them all.

i was left to stare at the round chocolates that laid innocently on a wrap which faintly carried the sweet scent of wooseok’s favourite perfume.

* * *

seungyoun had always been a popular person in school. though he never noticed it given how he was a little slow in picking up people’s attention towards him.

i noticed it because i had always been watching him.

the people who admired him were different from mine. they were more reserved, more shy, more private in their manner of expressing their fondness and affection to seungyoun. while my fans were more straightforward and open in their admiration, seungyoun’s were the opposite. that was the reason why the girls can crowd around me openly while girls who admire seungyoun approach him in a more private and personal way. and i didn’t know if it was for better or worse.

if you were to measure popularity by how open people show admiration to you, it would be wooseok who came to mind. but if you were to measure popularity not based on that, but as a whole, everyone would agree that it would definitely be the likeable and easygoing seungyoun. but of course, everyone in school knew that except for that oblivious blockhead. or rather, seungyoun is just the type who never really cared about getting attention from people, in fact he preferred not to be the center of attention because he wasn’t the type that knows how to deal with attention properly. so naturally the fans who liked him understood that and admired him within a safe distance enough to not make him uncomfortable or suffocated. to be honest, it was really enviable that he could have that kind of disposition to influence his fans to be as such.

but this is what makes cho seungyoun attractive in my eyes afterall.

in the field, he shines with his athletic abilities. like a superior alpha, he beats everyone in term of physical quality. in studies, although he doesn’t score as high as i did, but im pretty sure it was just because he didn’t feel the need to put much effort in his studies. even with that attitude towards studies, where he barely put in as much effort as me, he already managed to secure a high ranking among all the other students.

i had always envied cho seungyoun’s way of being so relaxed and natural in everything, yet still managed to come out successful in whatever he was doing. he was really the epitome of the perfect superior alpha in school and that was why everyone was attracted to him, especially the omega girls who couldn’t resist the attraction of the opposite trait and gender.

at some point, i was almost like those omega girls. in what way? in the way that i was attracted to seungyoun as an omega male.

…though seungyoun didn’t know i am an omega. i kept it hidden that i am an omega from seungyoun.

why?

mainly because i didn’t want him to know that i'm an omega and that i desired him as an omega.

when i first knew that i was an omega, it took me a while to swallow that fact. all because omega was somewhat imprinted with this stereotypical thinking of being the most inferior out of all the other traits. although of course in a modern era like this, this kind of thinking would be old-fashioned but since this trait had existed since the beginning of mankind, it was somewhat difficult to dispose the traditional notion that was attached to it. so i had to deal with a feeling of inferiority for a while as i tried to accept myself as an omega.

then when my first heat came, i began to understand why people would often say that omega had it the worst out of others.

that day when my first heat materialized, it was in the middle of class. at that time of course I didn’t know yet what happened. all I remembered was that the constant itching feeling in my stomach, the growing discomfort that made me restless in my seat, made me unable to concentrate to whatever the teacher was teaching in front. there was a tiny spark of heat that ignited deep within the pit of my stomach, before slowly slithering all the way up, spreading warmth all over my face. that was the beginning of the symptoms. i excused myself from the class and locked myself in one of the stalls in the restroom for almost half an hour. then when i started to feel my heartbeat and breathing quickened to an almost impossible rate, and the heat which gradually became more and more unbearable to the point it became almost painful, i decided that i had to run home. i ran as fast as i could while carrying all the heat within me. by the time i reached the front door of my house, the look of surprise that my mother had on her face initially was immediately wiped off to reveal genuine concern as she noticed my distraught state. scared, i sobbed as i held onto my mother the whole time because i couldn’t understand what was happening to my body.

the heat was too much, and it felt like i would burst from the seams by the overwhelming surge within. a foreign unfamiliar wetness was leaking continuously from beneath and i worried my quivering lip with embarrassment and fear as my mother noticed this too. my mother who is an omega, seemed to recognize these all too familiar symptoms. it didn’t take her long to come to a deduction and she hurriedly fetched some pills from a drawer nearby and held it to my lips with a glass of water in her other hand.

after i swallowed the pills, we waited for a couple of minutes until the turmoil within me calmed gradually with the settling symptoms. the look on my mother’s face then was as if she finally confirmed her dread. she called our family doctor and the doctor came to get me checked while i laid on the bed, recovering my strength. for some reason, experiencing those symptoms had made me so exhausted and almost on the brink of unconsciousness but i struggled to keep myself awake because i wanted to hear what the doctor had to say about my condition.

_the pheromone had emerged. the symptoms had also shown themselves clearly. he is without a doubt an omega._

the first thing my mother did was to cover her mouth in disbelief. _but a male omega is so rare… and our wooseok, an omega…_ from the despaired look on my mother’s face, i can tell she had gone through a difficult time as an omega herself hence her denial to accept this yet. i myself couldn’t believe it either. i had heard that a male omega only consisted of 5% from the whole population, and to think that the odds that i manifested as an omega…

_but doctor, didn’t they say a male omega will go through a more intense heat cycle…?_ my mother had become more and more worried with each passing second as the realization brought about many concerning thoughts on male omegas.

_yes…as the male body have to adapt itself to childbirth, the changes that they undergo during heat cycle is more complicated and more intense. i will need to prescribe him with an inhibitor that is made specifically for a male omega. he cannot miss eating his inhibitor during his heat cycle or the consequences will be dire._

since male omega is rare, and since their body properties and changes will be more complex than female omegas, hence a special inhibitor had to be made for them. when the doctor explained the consequences that may possibly involve fatality in extreme case where the inhibitor is missed, i could only close my eyes and took a deep breath to calm my shaking nerves. it was a good thing i didn’t waste anymore time to run back home earlier. even back then, i already felt like dying remembering the searing heat that was if trying to burn me alive from within.

so that day i was confined to my room to rest. my mother called the school to inform that i was feeling unwell and had to be absent for the rest of the day. at the end of the day, seungyoun who only received the news about my sudden absence in the middle of the class, came to visit my house while carrying my bag that i had left behind in class out of hurry. obviously, he had all the questions in his head as what would be so severe that i had to suddenly return home without a single word of leaving.

when seungyoun asked to see me, my mother had to stop him by telling him that i was sleeping upstairs. but i knew better. my mother wanted to keep my distance from seungyoun because seungyoun who reached puberty earlier than me by a few months, was known to be an alpha. and it would do no good for both of us to have an alpha like him within my vicinity while i was in my heat.

so i took a few days of absence from school to allow my first heat cycle to pass. the first cycle was always the most intense as the body received a sudden shock to familiarize with the new changes, so i often passed out due to exhaustion eventhough i didn’t do much. but the doctor assured to me that later, as i experienced more heat cycles, i will gradually get used to it and not experienced the symptoms as severely as before anymore.

while i was resting those few days, seungyoun kept messaging me asking me if i was okay and what happened. he kept worrying because it seemed that my mother had told him that i was really sick and couldn’t accept any visitors. directly giving the reason why she didn’t allow seungyoun to meet me would’ve probably done the job to shut all the questions from seungyoun, but it was due to my personal request to not tell seungyoun yet that she had to continue to being vague and thus resulting in seungyoun to continuously be dissatisfied and bothered. i told my mother that i will tell seungyoun about it myself. since she knew how important seungyoun is to me and how this might probably affect the relationship between both of us, so she had respected my decision to deal with it as a matter between the two of us.

yes, seungyoun is important to me. he is my only true friend since i was small. when i first knew that seungyoun was an alpha, i also wanted to become an alpha to be on an equal level with him. but now knowing im an omega, a male one to boot, i didn’t know how i should break it out to him.

it was the norm for male to usually be either an alpha or beta, alpha being the most superior trait a male could have. omega…in this modern age, rather than the term inferior which can be seen as offensive in a way, it was termed more popularly nowadays as a submissive trait which fit the female population more. hence nature had made 95% of omega to be females, despite that it was unfair to the 5% of omega who are males because those 5% of male omegas have to somewhat deal with the shame of being different from the norm, and the shame of being a male with a submissive trait in addition to having a body that had a purpose like a female one’s.

so yes, this was what made male omega so special compared to others. only male omega has this ability to develop a female’s function, unlike other traits.

when i first had to register this fact in my mind, it was with a feeling akin to demasculinization. it was a really hard pill to swallow. it made my mind filled with depressing thoughts like i should’ve been born as a different gender from the start instead of having to suffer through this.

it took me a while to accept that i had been chosen to bear this trait. albeit my own acceptance towards it would be a different matter from the way how i wanted people to view me. especially seungyoun. so i had decided to keep my omega identity as a secret from him, and lied to him that i was an alpha instead.

just to be regarded as the same level as him. that was how intent i was to keep my remaining pride as a male.

there was also the issue that with the following changes within my body, i became more keen to people’s pheromone. specifically to an alpha’s pheromone. usually the pheromone was undetectable unless an alpha or an omega was in heat. but during the heat, if the alpha or omega took suppressants, the pheromone would be almost non-existent. so usually there was rarely any problem if the suppressant was taken faithfully according to the timing of the cycle.

Therefore people had no idea at all that i was an omega because my pheromone was concealed perfectly by the inhibitor.

but in my case, it seemed to be a little different. i couldn't really understand it myself, but it was perhaps because of being an omega who is a male giving me a keener sense of smell to the pheromone of my own gender. so sometimes i could catch a whiff of faint alpha pheromone from time to time. everytime that happened, an interest piqued in me, like a slave to my primitive omega nature i naturally become attracted to the alpha pheromone like how the law of biology works.

and i couldn’t deny my strong growing attraction towards seungyoun’s scent, which was always constant as he stuck beside me most of the time day by day. by then i started to question myself. if this attraction was simply biological or something else.

…but i had always known that even before i knew i was an omega i was already attracted to cho seungyoun.

i had always had a tough time to show my real self to people. and seungyoun was the only one who could see me 100% in my own natural self. it was due to the comfort and trust that had been forged between me and him over the years. and that alone, served as a very important factor for me to be attracted to him since it was always hard for someone like me to have a deep relationship with people.

people had always called me pretty or handsome or adorable ever since i was small. as the interest was only gravitated towards my face, i realized that they had no interest to know who i was as a person, merely admiring me for my external appearance that it made me feel distant and cautious towards anyone who tried to be friends with me. as the pattern turned out the same all the time, therefore the relationships i had with people all turned out to be either superficial or fake.

the only relationship with real depth that i had was with seungyoun. he was the only one who had managed to permeate through the impenetrable barriers i subconsciously shielded myself in and kept himself real with me throughout the years. and that was why he was a really important person to me and that was also why i automatically became possessive of him. i am just naturally possessive towards someone who i care for because those kind of people just came by rare to me.

because seungyoun was so important to me, i also grew afraid of him discovering that i desired him as an omega. we had been friends for so long, but to let him know that i’ve suddenly developed this desire towards him…i dreaded at the thought that he would reject me because he couldn’t think of me as anything more than a friend.

and that was why i was always suffering during my heat cycle. the inhibitor that was taken every cycle only served to perfectly conceal the pheromone, however the symptoms could not be alleviated completely.

so that was why at the peak of each of my heat cycle, i laid on my bed at night and suffered from the thought of seungyoun endlessly. i detested my body that helplessly lusted for seungyoun as the bottom became slick with wetness and growing heat spread throughout my whole body in a painfully sweet torture.

during those nights when i was alone in my bed, i could only stuff my fingers into my mouth to silence my moan as my other hand prodded into the hot messy hole that was brimming with wetness just from imagining seungyoun who is naked and kneeling behind, ready to penetrate me and filling me full with his own heat. it drove me crazy as my mind swirled with a thick dizzying cloud of lust, hazing my consciousness into an almost euphoric oblivion when i ejaculated all over the sheets underneath in shameful damp stains.

with each cycle that matured my body further, i felt like it became more and more unlike mine as it grew crazier with lust for seungyoun.

and each time after i came dirtying my sheets, a huge hollowed void of emptiness settled within me as i laid on the bed motionlessly, briefly having a fleeting thought of how much longer i can last before my body became completely swallowed and destroyed by my own growing desire.


	3. Chapter 3

the morning after the heat was always terrible. it left me with aches all over my body. but after going through so many heat cycles, i was accustomed to the feeling already. though it was undeniable that it was always such a troublesome routine which i had to go through every month. 

it was also unfair that omega had their heat cycle more often. so it would usually be once a month if compared to alpha who have theirs once in three months. and for that few days in a month, my mind had to be occupied to keep track of the frequency of eating my inhibitors to make sure i didn’t miss the timing. 

because everything about male omega is so special, therefore even the dosage is special compared to others. i had to eat it more frequently and in a larger dosage than usual compared to others. so i had to remember to take it 3 times in a day, which would be once in the morning after i woke up, once in the afternoon and once before i go to sleep. so this morning, i didn’t forget to grab my inhibitor pills before i go to school. 

the routine of having to take the inhibitor pills at a set time with utmost discipline was a burdensome one. yet i could still tolerate it up to that extent. 

the one thing that was hard to tolerate though was to have to face seungyoun right after the night where i was at the peak of my heat. it was always this that i had a lot of problem with. as i mentioned before, the inhibitors only helped to suppress the pheromone and alleviate the vital symptoms but the desire to mate was still as strong as ever. 

i am a person who likes to keep myself rational and sensible at all time. therefore i detested these primal urges that controlled my body with a zealous passion. i didn’t want to give in to such a barbaric instinct, but even then there was nothing i could do with my body that became so reactive during my heat cycle. 

besides, it made me feel so shameful and guilty to face him after the night where i came with the thought of him.

naturally, i tried to avoid physical contact from seungyoun as much as i can during this period. or if that wasn’t possible, i would just have to use my utmost inner strength to suppress that desire that bubbled hotly within me whenever seungyoun made any.

i was good at hiding my real feelings when i needed to. why do you think seungyoun never discovered that i was an omega otherwise?

but there were still times when i almost snapped, when he caught me off-guard by doing unexpected gesture at a very unexpected time. like today, for example.

it was in the middle of history lesson. i was focused on jotting down notes from the whiteboard as fast as i can because the teacher was writing everything down so fast and was telling us that she will erase it soon so she can write more things down. From the collective groans that sounded then, i thought everyone around me was busy writing like i was too, so i didn’t expect the hand that suddenly touched the back of my neck out of nowhere. 

i almost jumped a mile from my seat because of the contact. the hand was too cold against my warm nape and the fact that the touch was made to a really sensitive part didn’t help. it didn’t help even more when i realized a second later that seungyoun was the one who was touching it. 

notes forgotten, my whole attention immediately shifted to seungyoun as i turned my head back and gave him a look as if he was out of his mind. flustered, my own hand covered my neck like a protective barricade. 

are you crazy…?! i whisper-screamed at him. maybe my reaction was a bit overboard to the slight touch, but my nerves were too frazzled from the shock and the fact that my body was gradually reacting to the touch made me upset more than necessary. i expected him to at least showed some remorse for making me like this, but instead all i was faced with was amusement on that idiotic playful face of his. 

he was resting his cheek on his hand while grinning at me. your hair has become quite long, then proceeded to comment on something really redundant. i can’t believe this bastard made me all worked out just because of that… from the corner of my eyes, i saw his notebook which was opened in front of him but merely serving as a show because he wasn’t even the slightest bit bothered to write anything from the board. 

still frowning, i turned back to the front again and picked up my pen to start writing again. though this time i made sure to keep my hand covering my neck which had become shamefully reddened from embarrassment.

* * *

i was bored and it was just because the back of wooseok’s fluffy head seemed more interesting than all the long boring historical facts that were written on the board. 

how could the back view of someone’s head looked so handsome? since when did your hair became so long? i could almost see it covering more than half of your neck. 

these kind of thoughts were mused idly in my mind amidst the busy scribbling sound of pens against the surface of papers. the small back and head that sat in front of me was bent over, full of focus always like the hardworking student he was.

it was amusing sitting behind kim wooseok. because whenever i got bored in the middle of lesson, i can just stare at his back and mull on every little details i note about him on that day. like how the gray school vest that he wore over his white school shirt fits his style, or how small and cute his shoulders looked as the rounded ends barely peeked underneath the vest, to how thin his arms were and how elegant his fingers looked as they busily moved across the paper to write word after word. insignificant little things about him like these strangely mesmerized me.

today there also seemed to be a really sweet smell wafting from wooseok. i blamed it on the strong wind that blew from the opened windows beside us, carrying his scent all the way towards me at the back. i knew of wooseok’s obsession towards his perfume collection, so i had a little guess game going on in my head trying to figure out if it was really his perfume? or his shampoo? or his body bath? and if so, when did he change them? it was my first time smelling this soft, sweet, gentle smell and it kept tickling my nose, making me more curious than ever to know the origin of the scent.

as if trying to grasp the scent, without realizing my hand had already lifted itself to reach towards his nape. with the distance less than an arm’s length, the back of my fingers easily touched the patch of skin that was visible between the strands of hair and the collar of his shirt. and i noticed how the body in front of me reacted as it jumped and shuddered with an intensity that was a little too much to be considered normal. 

ah…that’s right, since this morning i had felt you were acting a little weird. there seemed to be a bigger gap than usual between us as we walked side by side to school. i mean of course there are times when you are just being your usual introverted self and needed your space, but today i just had this feeling that you’re being particularly cautious around me. you didn’t even look at me once in the eyes when i was talking. i got a little upset, really. so when i got my revenge and got you to look at me then with a flustered reddened face, i couldn’t suppress the laughter in me due to the satisfaction i felt.

surprisingly, your neck was really warm under my touch.

* * *

that idiot cho seungyoun… because of him, i ended up merely copying down pathetically whatever was written on the board after that without even being able to think or process a single thing that i wrote.

as days passed, it became more and more difficult to keep my feelings in check when i was around him. it was really fortunate that my seat was actually in front of seungyoun so i had that privilege to hide myself from view just when my body was about to burst with heat after that single careless touch. i swore if it wasn’t because i was sitting in front of him, he would’ve probably been able to see my whole body and face that had flushed a deep scarlet in response. when i wasn’t in my heat cycle, i could still hide my body reactions, but now my body just simply betrayed me and showed reactions that were so embarrassing. being in heat cycle really amplified my senses a hundred times and i only really had that to blame for.

immediately after the last bell rang, i left my seat and hurried to the restroom. it reminded me of when i had my first heat as i locked myself in one of the stalls again. 

i was feeling the symptoms more prominently now as my breathing and heartbeat started increasing in rate and the coiling heat gradually became more intense, drawing sweat to come out in beads on my forehead. if made to wait any longer, the pheromone would spill uncontrollably and overflow into the air soon. 

these were the effects if the pills were not taken at the exact time scheduled. 

due to the teacher overextending her lesson time earlier, i grew anxious as i started to feel the beginning of the symptoms settling in. but there was always that period, give and take one or two hours, between the physical symptoms and the emergence of pheromone, so even if the physical symptoms started it will still take a while for the body to shed the pheromone. so if there was any inevitable circumstance where i couldn’t take my pills on time, i would always make myself take them at the very latest once the physical symptoms showed up. this was my know-how in handling my pheromone under control. so far, i didn’t encounter any problem yet by following this method and i intended to keep it that way. 

i took out the bottle of inhibitors from my pocket, shook out a few pills into my hand and immediately swallowed them without water. as i sat on the toilet bowl waiting for the drug to take effect, i heard the sound of footsteps entering the restroom. it sounded like footsteps that belonged to two people at least.

“that cho seungyoun, what a lucky bastard.”

the mention of a familiar name made me still myself automatically behind the door. the curiousity that was piqued at that moment made me strain my ears to catch the grumbling words of the person outside. 

“getting confession from girls left and right. i wish i can be him for just one day...”

a long-suffering sigh sounded. he seemed to be doing his business while talking to another person beside him at the same time. the voice of that other person joined in later.

“but isn’t that girl the one who kang seongmin been trying to win over?”

a momentary silence ensued in which the person’s mind was obviously trying to process the fact. “… are you serious? kang seongmin? surely, you aren’t talking about _that_ kang seongmin right?”

there seemed to be a wordless response which was hidden from my view. i could only confirm it later by the words that followed.

“…wow, if its really that kang seongmin then cho seungyoun is really unlucky.” the mouth which spoke words that were loud with jealous intent just a second ago suddenly reversed its direction and became small with fear at the mention of that one name which was as if forbidden to be uttered out loud.

while time passed listening to their conversation, the symptoms i was feeling earlier also faded. getting up, i unlocked the door, the sound startling the busy conversation between the two people into an immediate halt. i walked to the sink and washed my hands normally as if i hadn’t just eavesdropped on them the whole time.

“oh, its wooseok. hi.” one of them greeted awkwardly, the awkward reaction stemming from the fact that they had just been caught red-handed badmouthing seungyoun. from the voice, i recognized it was the guy who was jealous of seungyoun earlier. i bet if it was seungyoun who came out right then, he would also act in the same two-faced way. 

“where did you see them?” i turned off the tap and looked into the mirror while shaking off the stubborn droplets of water that clung to my hands. 

“…?”

turning my head, i was faced with their puzzled look. 

“seungyoun and that girl. where did you see them?”

* * *

at the school backyard, they said. 

my steps were nimble but quiet as i made my way in the direction of the backyard. 

why exactly am i intruding in someone else’s business? normally i wouldn’t. but since seungyoun is my bestfriend and the fact that i also heard that he was going to get involved with someone who i’d rather he not mess with, of course i became worried about him. everyone in school knows it would be best for you to live the rest of your school days by not stepping anywhere in the territory of kang seongmin, that includes getting involved in the girl he likes. how careless, that idiot.

afterall that idiot had a history of being bullied back when we were small. it was as if he was a magnet to bullies. of course, because that idiot always had to be so kind all the time to the point that people took advantage of him and think of him as an easy person. remembering how it was back then, i had to run all over the place to save him all the time. and yet how did this easy person turned out to be an alpha in the end while i am an omega? the world can be really ironic and unfair at times. 

my feet halted just before i was about to round the corner. from behind the wall, i heard the sound of their voices. peering over the wall, the identities were confirmed when i saw seungyoun and a girl who was standing in front of him. i couldn’t see seungyoun’s face because he had his back facing me, but i could see the girl’s face clearly as she spoke to him with a face that was too eager. 

i couldn’t hear a thing they said. due to the distance that was quite far between my hiding spot and the two of them, it was already a futile effort from the start to even try to listen in to their conversation.

somehow the initial reason why i even came to search for seungyoun was forgotten as i could only keep myself hidden and watch the girl who continued to convey her feelings with a confident stance and a look that knew perfectly what she wanted from him. 

isn’t that the kind of person cho seungyoun likes? someone who is small and pretty and is full of confidence? it made me remember his past girlfriend back in middle school who was two years older than him. 

_"why do you like her?"_

_he seemed to be in a daze to answer my question then, but eventually glanced at me with a slight smile on his lips._

_"because she’s a confident person and is always not afraid to say what she thinks is right."_

i remembered him saying something like this.

so cho seungyoun ended up dating someone amazing for quite sometime. when they broke up later, i never got the chance to ask him the reason since i was too distracted myself sorting out my own feelings. because it was around that time when i realized my feelings for cho seungyoun. 

and now here i am, fighting back these conflicting feelings in my chest as i watched the two of them engaged in a scene where they put their honest feelings out into show, something that i never had the chance to do with seungyoun myself.

the lower lip that was bitten tightly without realizing was released when i saw the girl’s face fell listening to what seungyoun had to say in reply then. the passion and eagerness that was witnessed from before gradually dissipated from her form and facial expression with the passing seconds. 

as i saw seungyoun’s body turned away from her then, i took it as a hint that their conversation was over. running off from the scene as fast as i can so seungyoun wouldn’t notice me, i ended up making a record time back to the class. 

seungyoun appeared only a few minutes later. sorry, did you wait long? as if pretending nothing had happened, he grinned sheepishly and apologized to me while rubbing the back of his neck. there were only two tables left in class which still had books scattered on them. the other tables were all clean and empty as it seemed that everyone had left as soon as the last bell rang. seungyoun headed to his table behind me and started packing up his books.

i who had been pretending to wait for him to come back the whole time, started to mimic his actions. but my movements were slowed down halfway when i tried to subtly glance at his face a few times out of curiosity.

“…what?” his eyes that caught me easily was inquiring my questionable action. i remained with my eyes glued to him, feeling my mouth went dry as he raised his brow. i couldn’t hold back my curiosity any longer.

“i heard you got confessed to by some girl.”

seungyoun’s gaze stayed on me for a while before it fell off. he returned to stuffing the rest of his books into the bag, hands busily moving again as he answered me in a nonchalant manner.

“yeah, i did.” 

“and so… how did it turn out?”

as if everything else was forgotten, i could only focus on my desire to know the outcome of that scene earlier which remained stubbornly stuck to my mind.

“kim wooseok, why are you so interested to know?” seungyoun who looked as if he was amused by my reaction asked me that after zipping his bag close. 

he stared at me, intently waiting for an answer. i hurriedly turned away from him and acted unaffected by putting in the last of my books into my bag with a face that gave away nothing. “you’re my friend, of course i would want to know if you’re going to end up dating someone.”

“...is that so?” 

“yes.” 

he was assessing me the whole time, but after i answered him smoothly without a lag in second, he shrugged, slinging his bag over his shoulder. i wore my own bag strap over my shoulder and we both started walking out of the class. just when i thought my curiosity would be buried quietly without finding its answer, his small voice sounded from beside me, almost inaudible.

“i rejected her.”

when i turned to look at him, the expression on his face was strangely an unreadable one.

it should've bothered me, yet the only thing i could feel then was the relief that washed over me instantly as the huge weight that had been pressing on my chest was released.

* * *

“seungyoun-oppa, i really like you.”

i was already half-expecting the confession to come the moment the girl came to my class asking for me with a nervous-looking face and a shy fidgety posture. i had almost thought she would break under the pressure as she continued to be hesitant the whole time she led me to the isolated backyard. 

but the moment she turned to face me, it was a look that surprisingly gave me a different perception from the initial first impression. it was a look that spoke to me that she had made up her mind. 

“…so i want oppa to be my boyfriend and go out with me.”

i stared at the determined look on the small face. 

but what can i do, really? 

eventhough i admired how she bravely confronted me with an unwavering confession, i didn’t think i could reciprocate her feelings. 

therefore i can only smile at the girl with sympathy.

“…i’m sorry. but i already have someone who i like.”

like her, i also clearly knew who i wanted. 

it was the face of kim wooseok that came into mind.


End file.
